“Boobs, boobs, bum, bum, falloolaa”,”Falloolaa??”, “OK, let’s say “Lady bits””.
Not the words I’d normally expect in an exercise class but this is Burlesque.
The poster claimed it would be a “challenge for ladies of all ages” and so it seemed appropriate that this be the next adventure in my quest to “step out of my comfort zone”. The teacher is a twenty-something hotty with enough energy to power a small city. She allows us 2 short water breaks and spends the remaining hour shouting “..5,6,7,8…….”, “let’s go again from the top”, “flick your hips, wiggle wiggle, down and UP, stick your bottom OUT”. We learn full routines to tarty Christina Aguliera songs wearing our gym kit and a pair of heels. No, there is no footage.
Unfortunately it’s not like the Crazy Horse is Paris. Last night I choked on a pink feather, hit another girl in the head, fell over twice and had to slap the bottom of a very large lady several times. It’s more intense than I had imagined and I’m forced to use my body in a way it’s not used to; Burlesque is all about curves, it’s flirtatious and fun. A far cry from the robotics and running man that I’m used to. But it’s fun, it’s sexy and it’s great for your arse!
Ladies, I would urge you to try it if you fancy unleashing the sex-kitten inside, you’d love it. Men, when they rush home to show you what they’ve learned, don’t expect Dita von Teese and try your best not to laugh when they fall over.
Since there will NEVER be any footage of this challenge, here’s a quick film from the professionals at the Crazy Horse. When you’re next in Paris go see this show, it’s AMAZING. (p.s. if you work in a particularly conservative office I’d probably save this till later.)