My nagging little issue with feminism

4 thoughts on “My nagging little issue with feminism”

  1. > But I don’t want to tie my hair back, develop muscles and dress like a mechanic to prove “I can do it”.

    I’m afraid it gets worse. It’s only feminists who act as if ‘gender equality’ is achieved by dressing like a mechanic and posing for a photograph with your hair tied back and your muscles flexed. But for the rest of us living in the real world ‘gender equality’ is achieved by more women actually BECOMING mechanics…. or refuse collectors, lorry drivers, miners, loggers, construction workers, front line police, plumbers etc. Women’s refusal to do dangerous and unhealthy work results in men being killed at work 20 times more frequently than women – a blatant example of ‘gender inequality’.

    Imagine if the genders were reversed and women were expected to do all of society’s dangerous and unhealthy jobs and fight all the wars and women were killed at work 20 times more often than men. Would women find that acceptable? Now imagine men going around complaining about the ‘matriarchy’ and making posters of themselves flexing their muscles and saying “man power!” but without actually being prepared to get their hands dirty in any practical sense. Imagine if men SAID they wanted to get more men into ‘female dominated’ jobs, but in reality they only tried to get the state to fast-track men into nice comfortable, high paying, skilled jobs by demanding positive discrimination (ie sexism). Would anybody take these men seriously?

    > I want femininity to be valued.

    This is called ‘patriarchy’ and ‘chivalry’.

    > I want my soft skin, my vulnerability and my tendency to sob when I’m sad to be valued as highly as rational thinking and physical strength.

    OK so you are caught in a house fire or burgled or run over by a car and you call for aid. Two groups come over to help you. One group has soft skin, is vulnerable and just stares at your predicament and starts crying. The other group are rational and physically strong and they immediately devise a plan to help you and then get to work. Which group would YOU value the most?

    > I want to see compassion, expression, sensitivity and tolerance valued as highly as those traits normally associated with masculinity.

    This kind of implies men do not possess those qualities and that women automatically do. Interestingly studies show that it is the FATHER who is most responsible for giving children the capacity for empathy. Without fathers present in early development (0-6 years) children tend to lack the capacity for empathy. This is why single mother households are, statistically speaking, factories churning out criminals and drop outs.

    > I don’t want to have to have muscles to prove my power.

    And I don’t want to have to have money to be able to buy a new car 😉

    But seriously, women’s power in society is huge. But feminism never acknowledges it. Women have always been the primary caregivers specially during those critical ‘personality forming’ years of 0 – 6. Women have always raised boys and girls and had the most influence in how they define their masculinity/ femininity. Patriarchal men and women were raised by women to be that way! A lot of children today rarely come into contact with men at all until their late teens! (single mothers and her single mother friends, female daycare staff, female primary school teachers etc). The lack of meaningful interaction with adult males is one of the main reasons why so many kids (boys and girls) are going off the rails,………. getting into gangs, self harming, teenage pregnancy, dropping out, becoming feminists etc.

    Another example of women’s power is the fact that – generally speaking – women select a boyfriend/ husband from a range of willing suitors (“men propose, women dispose”). This is another HUGE power women have. Women’s choices tell men what they need to be like to get a girlfriend or wife. When life was harsh and resources were scarce due to lack of technology women tended to choose burly, dominant, assertive, aggressive, traditional patriarchal men because these men provided them with the most resources and protection in a harsh world where survival was not guaranteed. As new technology raised living standards after the industrial revolution and created lots more safe, comfortable ‘indoor’ job opportunities (rather than just farming or manufacture or construction work) women became more financially independent. As a result women started to choose different kinds of men because their needs had changed. And feminism was born. And with the expansion of governments women today can now get protection and resources from the state (welfare, police etc – mostly paid for by men’s taxes of course!) allowing them to choose less dominant ‘beta’ males as partners who are more sensitive, obedient, pliable and will give her foot massages and listen to all her problems. But if a meteor struck earth tomorrow and sent us back to the bronze age even feminists would start choosing more burly, aggressive, dutiful, decisive, hardworking patriarchal men once again. And they would once again emphasise their own femininity and fragility in dress and behaviour in order to provoke men into providing them with resources and protection out of a sense of duty. Feminism was more of a *consequence* of women’s increased opportunities and increased freedoms, it was never the cause of it. What liberated women (and men and children and animals) was not feminism, it was modern technology.

    > Because quite frankly I love pink and I like that my husband occasionally wants to open the door for me and yes I can be assertive, even aggressive at times, but my femininity is my strength and my power and to deny me that is to render me worthless.

    You obviously value and enjoy the differences between men and women and have chosen a man who feels the same way. You do not want ‘gender equality’ (beyond equal rights under law which we already have) ……. instead you want men and women’s unique qualities to be valued for what they are. I don’t think you are a feminist. You seem far too rational 😉

    > And by the way, our bodies were built to make children in them. As long as that remains the case we have all the strength that we will ever need.

    Yep. Females are the limiting factor in reproduction. A tribe can lose half its males without birth rates plummeting. But if it loses half its females they risk extinction. This biological fact is why women have always been placed at the centre of society and why men have always been expected to provide resources and protection to women and generally be the disposable sex (expected to do all the dangerous jobs, go to war etc).

    Feminism is really just patriarchy/ chivalry rebranded for the 21st century. Patriarchy’s slogan of “Women and children first” has been changed to feminism’s slogan of “He for She”. It’s the exact same sentiment, except that patriarchy was concerned with women’s safety and wellbeing for the sake of children’s safety and wellbeing. Feminism has dropped the concern for children. Feminists are happy to dump them in ‘daycare’ (‘day abandonment’) centres.

    “Women and children first” minus the concern for children = “He for She”

    Feminism is only concerned with feminist’s needs and wants. Not women’s, not men’s and certainly not children’s.

    Frankly your better off without it …. IMHO of course 🙂

    1. Hi! I can’t believe I prompted someone to write a comment longer than my post – so firstly, thanks for your time. It’s interesting to hear your opinions and for the most part I fully understand and appreciate your point of view. But I get the sense that you feel that there is one or the other – masculinity OR femininity. Yes, if my house were burning I would want help from the rational and physically strong group of people. But I’d hope to god that there were some women in that group. I fully embrace and enjoy my masculine traits but my argument here is only that masculine traits hold more value in our society than feminine. I want my husband and sons to be able to cry at a movie without fear of ridicule. I want my daughter to know that she can carry that heavy suitcase to the car and heave it into the boot without doing it to “prove a point”. I’d also like her partner to be able to offer her help without others seeing it as an act of sexism. In short I’m saying that I agree with some aspects of the feminist ideal and not with others. And in answer to your point about whether or not I’m a feminist I can only quote Caitlin Moran “If you have a vagina and you want to be in charge of it then yes, you’re a feminist”. 🙂

      1. Yeah sorry about the lengthy comment – it’s the nature of the subject ie men and women! 😉
        I’ll try and keep this one short…

        > I fully embrace and enjoy my masculine traits but my argument here is only that masculine traits hold more value in our society than feminine.

        Well that’s an interesting argument because ‘value’ and ‘importance’ are not necessarily the same as ‘privilege’ or ‘freedom’.

        In a patriarchy boys are raised (not least by women) to accept it is their role as males to do all the dangerous and dirty work and manual labour. They are trained to define their masculinity in terms of their UTILITY to women and to society in generally. In a patriarchy boys and men are shamed and ostracised if they do not willingly sacrifice their comfort, safety, individuality, self expression, health and even their lives to protect women and provide resources to women – whether that means working all day long doing manual labour to put food on the table or going off to die on the battlefield or wading into a burning building or frozen lake to rescue a woman in need.

        In a patriarchy women are under no such obligations. The idea of a woman being expected to protect men, or provide for men or rescue men from danger seems kind of absurd. A 25 year old man with little education, no career prospects and no financial independence is viewed by society as a loser. No woman is going to want to seriously date or marry such a man because he cannot provide anything to her, and would be just a financial drain on her. But a 25 year old woman in the same position is not viewed as a loser. And plenty of men would be quite happy to date her or even marry her and financially support her completely. So which gender is valued the most here?

        I think it’s fair to say that women are more valued in society (and certainly by men) just for being women, but men have to have some kind of ‘extra’ value to be valuable (especially to women) – such as status, bravery, money, skills, loyalty etc. This is why women in sexy calendars are often nude or just in their underwear, but men are often in clothing which defined their ROLE to women, such as fireman, lumberjack, soldier, high flying exec etc. Men need to show women their high status, wealth and skill set in order to make themselves attractive to women. Imagine if women had to show men their social status or bank accounts just to get men to value them!

        Another example…. When men got the right to vote they had to agree to go and fight wars for the state and probably sacrifice their lives in the process. But when women got the vote (about one minute later, in historical terms) they were given this right without any obligations at all. Once again less demands are placed on women. Women getting the vote was not a case of ‘gender equality’ is was a case of ‘female privilege’.

        Everywhere you look men are expected to work harder and sacrifice far more than women just to be viewed as ‘proper men’. And women are the receivers of far more protection and resources from men than men ever get from women. A man who is as vain, self obsessed and self entitled as your average woman is considered a joke, especially by women who would never date a guy who was as obsessed with his own appearance, comfort, safety and protection etc as she was. A man who goes to college but admits he is really looking for a decent woman to cherish him for who he is and financially support him is considered a failure and a bum. A woman with the same attitude is considered perfectly normal and acceptable – if a little conservative. Therefore we all demand men achieve MORE than women just for men to be viewed as equal in worth to women.

        So what keeps men from staging a mutiny?

        Well, the idea that men are more important than women of course! Throughout history women have constantly told boys and men they are sooooooooo important and soooooo much better than women at everything before kissing them on the cheek and pushing them out the door to go and dig the coal out the mines, plough the fields or o a die on the battlefield.

        Kings, queens, priests and presidents who all demand (or demanded in the past) free resources and protection and the loyal service from the public ALWAYS portray themselves as the servants of those they rule. They say “We are YOUR humble public servants, and we serve YOU” but what they really mean is “hand over half your wages and obey our every demand or we will put you in a cage”. Boys and girls are trained from an early age that government or religion serves them, even though the opposite is clearly the case. In a patriarchy the same basic psychology is used to train boys that women serve men, even though it is obviously the men who go off fight the wars, dig resources out of the ground, trawl fish out of the sea and build and maintain the infrastructure which keeps everyone safe and comfortable.

        Women’s role as ‘second class citizens’ is women’s excuse for not putting themselves in danger, or getting their hands dirty or breaking their back in all the ways that they demand men do. And like ANY strategy it has its disadvantages for sure. But I know I’d much rather live my comfortable, safe, long life as a ‘poor downtrodden second class citizen’ than live as a ‘privileged and important man’ and be forced to go and die on some muddy battlefield as at the ripe old age of 20 ……. wouldn’t you?

        Feminism has really jumped the shark by claiming women’s own strategy for keeping safe and securing resources from men is itself a form of male oppression. But why ado feminists make this claim? So they can demand even more ‘free stuff’ and special treatment of course!

        Show me one feminist demanding ‘gender equality’ who is actually applying to be a construction worker or garbage collector or security guard or oil rig worker…..

        In simple terms men’s importance and higher social status is how women have historically bribed men to go off and do all the dirty work so they did not have to.

        This animation illustrates it beautifully The Princess and the Plow Horse

        > And in answer to your point about whether or not I’m a feminist I can only quote Caitlin Moran “If you have a vagina and you want to be in charge of it then yes, you’re a feminist”

        Right but feminism is far more than a concept of self ownership (which is called ‘self ownership’ and not ‘feminism’). Feminist ideology is based on ‘patriarchy theory’ which claims men have systematically and deliberately oppressed women throughout history to create a society which benefits men at the expense of women. Now men have their most intimate relationships with women (wives, daughters, mothers, sisters, girlfriends etc) and so for men to oppress those closest to them defines men as sociopaths. So if you are a feminist you are basically claiming males are sociopathic by nature. This kind of thinking is really no different to claiming blacks are criminally inclined savages by nature… or jews are control freaks by nature. And it leads to the exact same logical conclusions with many feminists having already called for the subjugation of men and even the mass extermination of men. These radical feminists are shielded and encouraged by the mass of moderate feminists, just as radical racists are shielded and encouraged by the mass of moderate racists.

        When you study feminist theory it becomes clear that feminist theory is to men what nazism is to jews or white supremacy is to blacks. And all of these movements have disguised their hatred and intolerance by portraying themselves as the poor, innocent victims and their target group as the oppressor. Feminism is just history repeating I’m afraid. Sad but true…. 😦

  2. YES!! Beautifully written and I couldn’t agree more!! Women should be celebrated for being just that, a woman, and that includes a vast range of character traits which empower us!! I love it most when I feel like “woman”, when I’m all dressed up with my make up done right, nails polished and hair looking great! I’m a woman dammit and that doesn’t mean I can’t do anything you can, it just means I will look better doing it!!!!! Love this!! Great post!!

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